


The Red Book

by Sithkittye



Category: Psychopath Diary (TV)
Genre: AU, But when wasn't he tho, Dark!Dongsik, Dongsik is Totally Turned On By Killers, Dongsik is obsessed, Hybristophiliac Dongsik, Inwoo is kinda obsessed, M/M, Masturbating over BFs crimes, Masturbation, Murder, Tags Are Hard, i suck at tags pls read
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:01:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25013608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sithkittye/pseuds/Sithkittye
Summary: Yook Dongsik was not a psychopath. He was a common worker, lowest in the rung at his office job. But he has a secret infatuation with a deadly concept: Serial KillersSo when he is the one to receive Inwoo's Red Book, he isn't one to take it to the policeHe keeps it with the rest of his collection. And with the unfinished last entry, fantasizes about the ending. And it's author.
Relationships: Seo Inwoo/Yook Dongsik
Comments: 41
Kudos: 249





	1. The Beginning of an Infatuation

**Author's Note:**

> I really like this story and of course really wanted Inwoo and Dongsik to just get together, but found non Amnesiac Dongsik could probably be easier than the Dongsik we got for most of the drama. 
> 
> So Inwoo still a psycho, but Dongsik be a hybristophiliac twink. This was just what I hope is a decent start, tho fair warning, I plan for this to get decently smutty and decently fucked. But, like, it's a murderer and a guy with a serial killer fetish, it gonna be fucked-

Dongsik wasn’t a psychopath.

He had been just a lowly worker, a pushover. Someone everyone walked over. No one noticed him. No one would have known if he jumped off that building. Even if he had left the note. People would mourn, for a day or two, then move on. As if he never existed. Perhaps he didn’t even exist, in this sort of world. He was as small as an ant, easy to crush. He should have crushed himself to not trouble anyone else further. Yet instead of jumping off that height, doing everyone else a favor, he cried. He broke down and cowered at the thought of jumping. How cowardly. Couldn’t do even that. 

He knew someone else had arrived at the construction site, so why didn’t he just find another avenue to leave? Avoid the sound of another as much as he could? Was he meant to watch something like this, meant to watch as a man killed another, to hear his pleas for help, his desperate cries for salvation? 

Yook Dongsik had seen scenes like this, watched crime after crime in all his horror movies and murder documentaries. He had been dulled to the sound of pain. Numb to the agonizing screams, and he half expected to hear the murderer reveal his entire plan, to hear him go on and on about his reasons. But he heard nothing. Not until a screaming replaced the begging, and his dark eyes widened as he realized the prey had been asking _him_ for salvation. 

_He had seen him._

The killer, he wasn’t an idiot, he could see it in the way he held himself. The way he moved. He had to have done this before, breaking a man’s arm with such ease. It sickened him how fascinated he was. The sound of such an action, he hated how much he liked it. It sounded nothing like the movies he watched, and he was fascinated. He should run, he should hide, he should do something other than stick around and wait to die! But he couldn’t move. 

A book, a red book found its way by his feet. And he couldn’t help himself but take it. The owner had a deep voice, he had faintly heard. But its contents, he hadn’t a clue. It was a strange kind of book, perhaps a journal of some sorts, red leather bound with decorating metal ends. Wrapped with a string, not seeming very practical. But his hands found it so easy to hold, to grip onto. As he watched, unable to leave, he stared eagerly at the man who turned to look at what his prey stared at. 

And he was - handsome? A murderer wasn’t supposed to be handsome, unless that was the point of the story. It seemed unrealistic. That this killer was handsome. Dark, near black eyes, set on a porcelain face, his dark hair slicked back. He looked almost familiar… Dongsik didn’t really know why he looked like someone he’d seen before, but perhaps the distance made his face hard to place. He couldn’t make out too much, except those dangerous eyes, and the way he stared out. Trying to sniff out any witnesses. 

Even as the killer was making his way over to his hiding spot, he tried to watch. As he inched closer and closer, the smell of blood was so pungent, and yet somehow so sickeningly attractive. It wasn’t until he heard his steps too close that he started to move, covering his face to hide his breathing. To try and silence his heart pounding harder and harder against his chest. He was frightened, terrified more than he had ever been in his life. And he was ashamed to feel something more behind this, something more he couldn’t recognize. But it wasn’t a negative emotion. 

As the nameless killer neared him, he made his run for it. 

Yongsik had come here to die, yet he left never feeling so alive. The pipes distracted the murderer long enough for him to slip back and escape from another door. And there, he tasted freedom. 

His legs carried him unconsciously to his car, and he found himself rushing back home. Rushing back to where he thought he’d be safe. He didn’t think the killer was following him. He didn’t think. All he thought about was escaping that. At least, he wanted to think that. 

_______

  
  


Back in his apartment, Yook Dongsik tried to not think. Tried to close his eyes and not think about what he saw. But every time he closed his eyes, he saw it. 

_The blood._

His eyes opened in annoyance. This was all just a dream, it had to have been. Yongsik didn’t just stumble onto murders. And he for sure would have called the police immediately. 

But his eyes lingered onto the diary before him.. Laying there. Begging to be read. He couldn’t, he had to turn it over to the police. His hands shook softly as he reached forward, unable to stop himself. He had to see it. Had to see what it contained. 

Surprisingly, when he opened it, it wasn’t written like a normal diary. It was written backwards. Encoded. He found himself raising a brow, and scrambling around for a mirror, he forced himself to open to the oldest page. 

_‘ April 24th, 2019. I killed again. ‘_


	2. Intoxicated by the Crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever since he found the book, Dongsik hasn't parted from it.   
> His interest in this killer becomes more than pure curiosity.

Six murders. Six important entries. All just as captivating as the next. To someone like him, it was like his mystery books, except with an element of realism. The fact that these all happened, and he can read it all in detail is nothing short of amazing to Dongsik. 

He knew he shouldn’t have even opened it, this was evidence! He watched a man be murdered, and even if he doesn’t know the murderer’s face, he could at least give the best evidence someone could have! The diary described a family, described the person who committed such well planned atrocities, and yet here he was, clinging onto it as if it was one of his favorite reads. He should just give it up, submit it anonymously at the least! But he couldn’t make himself do it. 

It was too captivating. 

He found himself back on his desk, mirror propped up and continued to read this journal. 

Maybe what he was doing wasn’t so bad. Yeah, he was reliving these mentally so he could be a witness. If anything happened to the diary. 

It was something to make sure this killer would be caught. 

He told himself these lies, shaking away the disgusting feeling of intrigue and pure interest, forcing emotions he never thought he’d feel back to the very depths of his mind. 

_ ‘ The thrill of murder is uncomparable . ‘  _

Work was like usual. Walking in, Jaeho made him get the coffee. It never mattered what his current title was. He was still treated like an errand boy, as if he had just started working here. Of course, he had tried making excuses before, but he just sighed and took the burden. 

It doesn’t hurt to be nice, he tried to live according to that. His mom always wanted him to live like that. 

His mom- If she knew about this diary… He didn’t want to know how disappointed she’d be, how horrid the contents. But could she blame her dear son? Perhaps he is going crazy, holding onto it. 

Even taking it to work with him. 

That was perhaps the strangest idea he’d ever had. But he couldn’t help it. It made him shaky, the thought of it just being at home, on his desk, in a drawer where surely no one would ever find it. What if the killer found out? Stole it back? He couldn’t read anymore, stroke the pages with bloody fingerprints, fascinate and take in every little detail the clear psychopath wrote in this little red book. The thought of someone just taking it, even if it wasn’t his property, it was concerning. 

This will be the craziest thing he’s ever done, but he was happy with that. 

“You should be a barista, Dongsik, you always make the coffee so good! Like a cafe!” His coworker blurted out after sipping his beverage, a reaction he’s heard consistently from Jaeho. As if it was his way to make him more likely to continue? But today, he wasn’t really paying attention to him in that way, his eyes on his screen as he tried to continue his work. People were trying to pin the approval of a drug on him after he submitted Jaeho’s report, to try and keep their jobs. He understood, but he still didn’t like it, especially after he had told Team Leader Gong about the fishiness of the clinical trial. The way things were going, it felt like his entire team were throwing logs underneath him, and setting them ablaze. He would have to jump off, or die, and they didn’t care about his choice. 

It doesn’t hurt to be nice. But it will when you’re the only one. 

He could see why some people could kill. 

_ ‘ When someone begs me to spare them… ‘  _

Dongsik could notice the other employees avoid him, and strangely, he felt this was the first time anyone had paid attention to him here. Well, more than a passing glance or a plea for help before passing all the work on him. And for once, he felt a desire to not be noticed. To everyone, he was the issue, one that would most likely be rectified when the asset team reviewed all their stories and surely decided he was the problem and to simply cut him out of their picture. A plan he knew he’d most likely go along with, just to try and minimize problems. Especially since Jaeho had a second child, and he’s sure his other coworkers, like Mijoo and Seokhyun had large problems that couldn’t risk their jobs. Maybe it was good for him, so he could try and find a different job. 

But he knew it wasn’t like that. Standing outside, the male just stood on his own, getting some alone time to try and wrestle with his thoughts. Leaning against the rail, he felt the diary press against his chest. 

That psychopath wouldn’t take this. 

Should that be a source of rejoice? That he is the opposite of a serial killer? Sure, he should think about it like that. He should not feel disappointed because of it. He should especially not feel worse after such a comparison. 

As he exhaled, getting ready to leave back to his desk, he couldn’t help but have his thoughts linger back on that scene last night. And the various emotions which came with it. 

People seemed to not notice when he left early. Or maybe they did, he couldn’t tell much anymore. Right now, he was trying to settle his mind. He needed to stop thinking about what he saw. What took his mind off of every feeling he felt that night and consumed his focus. 

It was nothing like his horror movies, the killer had a presence he only ever felt that night. The presence of a predator, of someone powerful and dangerous. Shivers ran down his spine at the thought, and when he remembered the scent, the overwhelming smell of blood, he didn’t expect to make a soft noise of enjoyment. 

Did he seriously enjoy remembering it that much? 

He found himself walking far faster than he was used to, a spring in his step as he pushed on.

_ ‘ When the blood pours out, ‘  _

The construction site was just like it was yesterday. Normal, casually cluttered in a way only the workers understood. If it weren’t for the pipes sprawled out onto the ground, he would have just called it a dream. As he approached the scene, he was shocked to see it was all cleaned up. Enough to where he could never guess a murder had taken place there. 

But he could still tell. The air still had that powerful taste. Some things were still moved out of place, his hiding spot still had the fallen beam, perfect for stumbling onto the scene of a crime. The journal entry went through his mind as he walked back to the area he had stood, frozen. 

_ “ September 13, 2019. _

_ I’ve killed an old homeless man. Kim Myeonggook, fifty-two years old. He is a parasite like person who was using the new office and a neighborhood restroom as if they were his. “  _

Yook Dongsik stood and closed his eyes, shuttering at the revisiting of the scene. 

Blood was fresh in the air, and that old man, Kim Myeonggook, was dying. His killer wrote so simply about him, how he had attacked the homeless man in the neighborhood restroom with a toilet lid, how the foolish old man had rejected his drink, making the scene needlessly messy. He must have really beat the man to a pulp, to simply drag him to the location he would kill him in. 

Mask it as a suicide. Like he had the others. 

His hands trembled slightly as he recalled more important moments of the scene. He tried to make out what that voice said as he had found the diary. That deep voice.  _ “Vermin, why would-” _ Something along those lines, he had been sure of it. But that pitiful old man, he just begged. And begged. Until finally his horrible pleas were replaced by a scream. It made it easier to listen. To see the man look directly at him, as if he was asking  _ Dongsik _ for help, he felt a pang of guilt. 

But that was quickly replaced when he thought back on the killer. How he slowly began to walk towards him. Effortlessly, yet methodically. As if he had thought out every movement of his body before he did anything. Dongsik originally covered his mouth to try and remain hidden, so he wouldn’t be found and surely murdered horridly. But in his own head, he found himself wondering, what if he had been?

If the author of this diary had peeked behind and found the cowering male, a witness who’d willingly shut his mouth.

He’d grab him by the hair, yank him up. This imposing figure looming over him, a hunter and murderer. Compared to him, he’d be nothing, a mere ant that this man could easily crush. But in his dominating presence, he felt his breath quicken, and leaning against the wood slats, he allowed his mind to roam like this. Just this once. 

The killer didn’t have any real features, he couldn’t place any, but he didn’t need to. He imagined this murderer pulling his head back, exposing his neck and bringing tears to his eyes. His breathing constricted somewhat. Vulnerable and exposed to this psychopath who targeted weak people. 

‘ Who are you, to watch me? ‘ His psycho killer would growl at him, pinning him against the slates. He could almost feel his breath against his neck. Almost smell the rich iron scent coming off the taller male. It was… Intoxicating. 

‘ I-I’m n-no-nobod-’ The weaker of the two began, stammering as he was cornered, with no escape. He lost all sense of location, all he could focus on was the man. Everything was quiet. 

‘ Nobody? Don’t lie.’ His mysterious murder continued, releasing his hair only to grab his throat and tense his fingers around Dongsik’s throat. ‘ Beg if you want. ‘

In his mind, the shorter male began to beg, but in the real world, Dongsik found himself biting his lip and curling his toes, going with the flow as his gut started to twist. His heart beat against his chest, but he wasn’t afraid. No, he had to hold in a moan as he continued to imagine the man towering over him, teasing his neck with moments of tightness. The tightness of his pants was too unbearable, and pressed his palm against his groin, trying to alleviate the growing pressure. His breathing was harder, and slamming his hand against his mouth was all he could do to keep himself quiet and try to not breathe like an idiot. 

The scent of blood, the pressure on his throat, he didn’t even think as his hand slipped into his pants and began to toy with himself, his mind off in a different place. 

‘ Please- ‘ Dongsik wasn’t sure what he was begging for, at this point. 

‘ If you beg nicely, I won’t kill you right here. ‘ The deep voice demanded, ‘ So beg like you mean it. ‘ He took himself in hand and squeezed himself out of habit, moaning past his hand as he found himself flustering. 

‘ Ah, please, spare me! Spare me, kill him instead- ‘ His throat tightened. 

‘ More.’ His toes curled. 

‘ He deserves it, please! I won’t ever tell, I won’t ever-’ His breathing intensified. With his nail digging in his chin, he couldn’t stop himself from whimpering, and as pleasure knifed through him, more intensely than he imagined possible, he fell to his knees. 

Dongsik panted as he rocked against his hand, moaning into the ground as the aftershock of his orgasm rolled through him. After a moment, he pulled his hand out of his pants and gulped down air as he forced himself to stand back up. 

He really was a sick person, wasn’t he. 

  
‘  _ … And the moment I stab them, is the most thrilling. ‘ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for some reason, I wasn't sure if I should get smutty since I'm rusty, but I said fuck it, haha.   
> I'll try to keep updating it, I'm going with the flow, mostly, but I love the idea of these two and there needs to be more dark!Dongsik.   
> We'll see some Inwoo soon, lol


	3. Tough Up, Pushover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dongsik has killing on his mind far too much.   
> With everything building at work, he has to reevaluate his own position.   
> Tastes of strength and danger influence him to do something he never did before.

Dongsik wasn’t right anymore. 

Ever since that day at the construction site, he hasn’t been able to control his thoughts. They went places he didn’t want them to. At a mere glance of the book, his breath caught in his throat and his lips went dry. He felt his body react when he read through the September 13th entry, and he hated it. If his family knew he was like this, if they knew their dear sweet Dongsik woke up in cold sweats after dreams of that killer, not out of fear, but out of lust? He knew how disappointed they’d be. Disappointed would be an understatement. 

So, as he always did to those parts of him his family wouldn’t understand, he would shove it down deep inside himself. He’s done it ever since he was a young boy, it was just a more demented addition to the pile. His father, his family, they liked the meek and sweet boy who always spoke manners and was quick to apologize. They didn’t want a gay son, didn’t want a freakish son. Didn’t want the violence which brewed in his gut, didn’t want the beast he contained and pushed down deeper and deeper. If he ignored them long enough, they’d vanish soon enough. If he never acted on any of his twisted desires, he’d be normal too. 

He fed it, in small doses. His love for horror didn’t come out of nowhere, it was why he expressed this admiration for the horror genre after moving out. Watching the movies, the documentaries, reading all those horror books and biographies, it fed this interest. Some may call it an obsession, but what else did he have to do in between work? People would probably be shocked at his desensitivity to these horror flicks, even having it casually running while he made himself some breakfast. But that’s why he didn’t voice it very often. Besides, it wasn’t like he would ever kill anyone. He just… had a deep fascination. That was all. 

Or so he liked to make himself think. With the way he was reacting to thoughts and memories of this suicide killer, it wasn’t anything like how he was with other horror books. 

It was real. It was tangible. He’s seen him in action, and felt his presence. A dominant, dangerous force. He was like a demon, beautiful and terrifying. 

And who was Dongsik to stand against the Devil? 

“Ah, fool, such a fool.” He growled at himself, adjusting his work clothes as he felt the weight of the red book against his chest. He glanced up from his work for a moment, to scan around him. Jaeho was doing his usual, leeching off his coffee while getting the bare minimum done. He could feel his Team Leader peek out from the blinds every so often while they all worked. None even noticed him open his mouth. But, unlike them, he had something more important to focus on. Who was his tall, dark haired and handsome murderer? 

He had read the diary several times now. His everyday entries interest him more than the murder entries. A father who he must call President, a half brother who’s head appeared to be full of udon noodles, a sister who enjoys meddling while pretending to care for him, a brother in law who’s cunning and only had an eye for quick profit. While he didn’t relate to his family dynamic, given his lack of entries with his mother, he guessed he liked her most, just like Dongsik. And after his mother’s death, he fought to get his father’s acknowledgement. He could understand this man. 

He had family issues, he had a lot of sources for issues, and if what he read about his father was correct, he could see why such a kid would grow up to become a serial killer. Dongsik became anxious for a moment, and temptation began to build for him to just slip away for a little moment just to reread this diary. He’s been getting better at understanding the backwards writing, too. 

Breaking his thoughts, he heard a team enter the cubicle farm, led by the frightening Jo Yujin, who simply approached his desk with a call of his name. Immediately, the employee stood and bowed his head. 

“We’re from the audit team. Please, come with us.” The head woman spoke perfectly, to which Dongsik couldn’t do anything less. He mentally blessed his stars he hadn’t searched up anything about his secret interest while at work, and followed along to a tidy office space, taking a seat at the end of the table. 

“I-I was responsible for Yuseong Bio, all o-of it-” He blurted out as he watched Head Jo review her files, raising a brow softly before closing the case file, folding her hands into the other simply. 

“Why are you saying it like that, so suddenly? As if you’re being framed.” Yujin remarked, looking to meet his eyes. She was right, he was being framed. A few seconds passed before she followed up. “How much did Team Leader Gong promise you?”

“Huh? Oh…” He wasn’t sure how to respond, but apparently, his silence told her everything she needed. 

“So, it’s true.” She gave a soft chuckle, yet still held that air of professionalism about her as she continued. “Yook Dongsik, you are like what they say you are.” As much as he hated it, he knew exactly what she meant. His lack of a response gave her more ammunition to speak. “Well, I can see why they’d push this on you. You’re an easy mark, a pushover. And yet, someone like you made a deal and wrote out a fraudulent report, all on your own?” She gave a shake of her head, judging with those eyes of hers as she stared him down. “I don’t think you’d have the guts to even do that. Team Leader Gong and Assistant Manager Park pushed for Yuseong Bio after making a deal, and they made you take the fall.” 

She gave a soft scoff as she made a case, Dongsik unable to force himself to lie. He didn’t want to put up with this for much longer. He didn’t even want to submit that report anyways, and when he pointed out inconsistencies, he was assaulted and forced out. “I don’t know who told you what, but you need to get yourself together. You are being used.” He knew, but what else was new? He felt himself clash with his other mentality. Until one side won out in the silence.

“I will ask you again. Is it true that it is all your responsibility?” 

A hesitant voice escaped him. “No.”

He caught her soft smirk at his answer, and she wrote down in her file. What she wrote, he didn’t pay attention, but she gave a polite smile and waved him out. “Thank you for your time, you may leave.”

When they had finished work, he didn’t want to be dragged along for drinks. He wanted to try and find out whatever details he could about his psycho murderer. However, he wasn’t able to escape it, and begrudgingly followed along. Dongsik wasn’t someone to enjoy the taste of beer, and rarely drank alcohol. Beer was so yeasty, bitter and displeasurable. As his Team Leader called for cheers on Dongsik’s behalf, he raised his own glass to clink, but they focused on one another. As if he wasn’t there at all. He shouldn’t have been surprised, he shouldn’t have felt so lonely from it. Even as they left him behind to sing karaoke, he just watched from the table, drinking from his mug. He could probably leave right now and no one would notice. While he was left alone, his mind wandered, biting his lip as he weighed his different trails of thought. 

Dongsik wanted to find this killer. But the more he thought, he couldn’t deny that he himself would make a perfect target for him. Dongsik didn’t want to be the prey, he wanted to admire. Wanted to watch from a distance and fawn over the bloodhungry beast who owned the red book. He wanted to be useful. But could he even step a toe into the darkness such a man ruled? 

He couldn’t be a pushover, not genuinely. He had to embrace a darker persona. After all, how else could he find the one he looked for? Copycats were an easier way to draw attention, but to do that, he had to develop drive. But when would he ever test these ideas, or even approach a more violent world? He stayed so far away for so long. 

As he got up to leave, not wanting to stay where he clearly wasn’t welcome, and to try and make a clearer plan for what he can do to try and attract his chosen ‘prey’, he heard as his Team Leader approached, a mug slamming down on the table before he confronted him, hands in his pocket. He was clearly not in a great mood. 

“Hey, idiot. I was tying everything up nicely, but now you’re trying to screw me over? Did you mean to do that, stupid?” 

“What are you talking abou-”

“I heard you claimed innocence. Because of that, the audit team is coming back tomorrow to ‘compare our stories.’ Aish, I can’t even believe this right now!” Dongsik didn’t reply as the Team Leader grew in frustration, his eyes narrowed as he took a semi casual yet confrontational stance. “You, a fool who’s not even worth being a dog, you seriously trying to pull one over me?”

“I -” 

“‘Don’t even try to lie to me, you bastard!” He growled, taking off his glasses as he leaned in closer to the employee. “What? What, you think you’re something special? You probably do, huh. Use your brain! If you make an issue outta everything, the entire Team 3 - thwack- out the window! So are you going to take responsibility or what?!” Leader Gong made a presumptuous noise and roared out, “Now that I think, you’re nothing but a selfish bastard, aren’t you?!”

He still kept silent, but Dongsik felt the low growl of anger deep within his chest. Selfish?! Him?! He had to stop himself from glaring at him, force himself to keep his gaze down and take the berating. “I’m sorry.” He forced out of himself, keeping his bag in his hands, hiding his white knuckles as he felt the urge both to cry and to scream out at him. Tell him everything wrong with him, that it wasn’t his responsibility. That he had done his part, and if they just listened to him, this all would have been avoided! 

“I don’t want to hear you’re sorry anymore.” Gong replied, putting his glasses back on. “See what happens if you try anything funny tomorrow.” He said, and started pushing his head. Somewhat gently at first, but getting rougher, more angry. Like a childhood bully. “I dare you to try something with that smug self of yours. If you do, I will make it so you can’t step even a toe back in this industry again. Understand?” He threatened, slapping him before moving away, heading somewhere Dongsik didn’t even care. He felt angry, annoyed, useless. His coworkers never did anything to stick up for him, and as he turned to rush away, adjusting his jacket, he felt the book. 

His eyes darted to see Leader Gong dart into the bathroom, and with that, a sudden story popped into his head. 

_ ‘ Kim Myeonggook. Refusing my drugged drink, I instead beat him unconscious with a toilet lid in the neighborhood bathroom. Blood spilled everywhere, a chore to clean but effective. ‘  _

Could he really do that? 

He felt his body move towards the bathroom before he could even decide, his subconscious already choosing his next course. Opening the door, he could hear Gong muttering on how ‘he was trying to screw him over’ and how he ‘was going to treat him nicely.’ Lies. He kept silent, walked past to the sink, where he rinsed his hand for a moment. As if to ponder if he was really going to do this. “Team Leader.” 

“Ah, oh you scared me-” The drunk man responded, giving a small amount of attention to him as the water ran. Dongsik contemplated for a moment longer, with Gong breaking the silence. “What do you want, punk?” The shorter male stared back at him through the mirror, a soft smirk slowly growing on his face. 

“Can I tell you something?” The curly hair male began to speak, his voice soft yet surprisingly steady. As he turned off the sink, he felt a strange confidence as he spoke. “You know how our company has that construction site, the one with our new building? There was a homeless man who wandered around there.” He knew every detail of this particular story by now. How he was offered a refreshing drink drugged with a sleeping dilution, how said man refused it. The coldness of the nameless killer as he picked up the toilet lid. Each second approaching the death of the old man. Walking over to paper towels, he took care to dry his hand before locking the only door out, his smirk growing. 

Team Leader Gong was less amused by the story. “What’re you doing-?”

Dongsik’s movements were more methodical, ignoring his question as he walked to the stalls. “Someone had opened all the stall doors one by one, just like this.” He commented, as he pushed open each and every stall he slowly approached. He was taking his time, had moved to a less rushed speed. He would want to enjoy this. He wanted him afraid. He wanted to see how far he could go. “Even when that someone was checking… He just stood there. It’s idiotic, right?”

“Heh, what are you doing? Huh?” Silence, as the curled hair male walked into the last stall. “Yah, if I’m treating you nicely, you should leave.” He didn’t respond, instead took the toilet lid and judged it as a weapon for a moment. It was fragile. It had a crack. It’d be messy. But he already picked his weapon. At the sight of him wielding it, Gong Chanseok began to freak out. He could hear his breath pick up, his whimpers grow, and for once, Dongsik felt more powerful than the esteemed Team Leader. 

“That man, he also couldn’t unlock the door.” He continued, hitting the lid against the stalls, one by one. “He stood there listening, just like you, as the lid hit the walls. Like this.” His panicked cries and frantic attempts to open the door, it was something he’d never felt before. He felt each word leave him effortlessly as he approached, holding onto his weapon of choice with a sick smirk. “And he had a feeling he was going to die.”

“Yah, yah, D-Dongsik, l-lets just talk about this-” He began to cry out, slumping to the ground with a scream of terror as he gave a final hit against the wall with the lid. His smile was growing without his control, and as he approached, the male cowering pathetically, Dongsik raised the lid to slam it down onto him. Until- “Team Leader, hurry up, sir! Your song is on!” 

Damn it! He felt disappointment grow within him, and lowering his arms, he allowed the lid to fall to his side. “What’s wrong, Team Leader?” He began to speak, leaning over to unlock the door. “Was my story too boring?” As the older male bolted up and ran out, crying out to the others, he moved and put the lid back where it belonged before leaving. He was close. 

But the more he thought, perhaps it was a good thing he was interrupted. What would he have done with the body? People would have heard eventually. Now wasn’t the best time to kill someone, at least not here. He could have gotten arrested. At least with this, he wouldn’t. At least now, he had an answer: He could do it. He could at least set it up. 

But this was nothing. No, now he had to push himself further. 

Yes. Further. But for now, he just had to survive the next day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was much closer to the show than I meant, but it was fun near the end!


	4. Submerged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yook Dongsik has tasted it, he wants more.  
> He'll fix those threads in the final entry.

After yesterday, Team Leader Gong avoided him like the plague. Dongsik was more surprised than he thought he’d be. Having known Team Leader, he was surprised he didn’t have some vengeful wrath to hang over him. Perhaps he thought he could just pressure him back into that docile place? Back into the kind and friendly boy he usually was? He wasn’t sure if he’d just let this job go to find the mystery man he was so curious to see, he may if he needed to. Besides, it wasn’t like he had much going for him here. He’d been here for several years, all for him to get promoted once. The new building, he wanted to be Team Leader by the time it had finished construction. He doubted he’d get something like that. He should just transfer or try to find some other work. All the while praying he’d see that man again. 

Walking back to the office, Dongsik spotted Head Jo near the elevators, and out of instinct, attempted to greet her. However, as he noticed her company, he felt his blood freeze.

Those lips, that hair, those  _ eyes _ . He was tall, wearing a pressed suit that Dongsik doubted he could afford in his lifetime, and held himself high. A prideful beast, he was. Just standing there, he was full of a foreign elegance. He belonged here, at least on the outside. But he knew better. 

He was the man he looked for. 

In his memory of the incident, he hadn’t focused on the face of his psychotic murderer, and now, he felt so ashamed. If he just focused, he could have easily known who it was. Yet he was caught in his eyes, caught in the moment and his mind had rushed by. 

Seo Inwoo. 

Brother of his Director, Seo Jihoon. Firm, yet the more appealing and professional of the two brothers. A chaebol heir, the elder son. How had he not clicked it in his head sooner? 

Dongsik wished he could go back in time and slap himself in the face for being so stupid. 

Nevertheless, he was just overjoyed to have confirmation: He actually exists.

More importantly, he worked above Head Jo. So he had a side in his current work predicament. 

When Jo Yujin dismissed herself, Dongsik still couldn’t pull his eyes away. The source of his obsession glanced over, but didn’t seem to notice him. He looked like he had a lot on his mind. He wondered for a minute if it was over work, or his secret hobby. He didn’t think too much on it, rather just absorbed this eye candy until he was finally out of sight. 

Continuing on his way to his cubicle, he made his way there with a soft smile on his face, repeating his killer’s name in his head akin to a prayer. 

_ Inwoo. Seo Inwoo.  _

Back in the auditing office, Dongsik sat and repeated his statement, having made up his mind on this matter. He had a stake to remain now, something worth fighting to stay for. 

“Everything involving the Yuseong Bio case was done by Team Manager Gong and Assistant Manager Park. I have no blame here.” 

The way Head Jo worded everything, he could tell she was inclined to believe him. It was strange, having someone on his side. Well, if he was honest, he doubted she was actually on his side. He was more like a tool here, probably. But the sight of a visually upset yet shooken up Team Leader Gong was too amusing, he had to quell the urge to laugh in his face. That would have been too dangerous, he’d end up with a broken shin from the force of Gong’s kicks. But it was so funny, to see a man who called him lesser than a dog be stumped by that mutt who now decided to bare his teeth. Leader Gong wasn’t a tiger. He was just a bigger dog. 

But this runt had his eyes on the real tiger. 

One who’d eat him up if he wasn’t careful. 

The remainder of his day was spent keeping his head down, falling back into his old ways: lips shut, hunched in his cubicle and working until the day was over. 

Dongsik had made up his mind: He had to catch the Director’s eyes. But he couldn’t just be himself to do that. He couldn’t be weak, expose his neck to him and hope he isn’t killed. From the diary, weakness was something Seo could not stand more than anything in the world, and if he knew anything, it was that he was weak. He wasn’t anyone, just a pushover who was showing some rebellious tendencies. A rarity for him, he knew, but it wasn’t as far off as people thought. 

He had always had these sprouts inside him, he just hoped if he ignored them, they’d die off. But now, he could water them, just a bit. Let them see the sun, just a ray or two. He felt the urge to just feed it, a bit. No one would notice it too much, they’ll brush it off like they do everything he does. He just had to try and hold in deeper urges. He couldn’t let it get out of control, of course. 

When he left work, he felt himself just move on instinct, getting off his stop and taking a quick look around. Was it already Friday? He’d been so distracted, what with the journal and all- But he supposed it was natural, to lose track of these kinds of things. Approaching the building, he felt himself smile when he saw the two pups, and their kind owner. Mr Sim tapped his wife as Dongsik entered the store, a simple sentence leaving him, “Ah, the nice man!” 

“Hi, Mr Sim, Ms Sim!” He replied, his small smile growing as he saw the pups. He didn’t like much about his current predicament, but walking these nice dogs were a plus. Besides, the Sims were a lovely couple, far sweeter than he expected other people to be. 

“Ah, Mr Bingo-is-a-Dog’s-Name!” The older woman smiled, rubbing her husband’s back as she held the leashes in her other hand. “You look a bit better than the last time we saw you, things going better?” She asked as the curly haired male began petting the darker of the two dogs. 

He took a bit of a pause. No, things really weren’t. But some things were. He had a name, knew where he was. “You can say that.” He wasn’t going to concern people about the mundane negatives of his life. He could deal with them himself. “Seeing these guys makes any day better!” 

Chingu and Galbi were always good on walks, never yanking the leash, and despite being hesitant around strangers, seemed to like him quite a lot. But then again, most animals had liked him growing up. 

They never could sense his dark secrets, it seemed. Or just ignored it. Either way, these dogs especially never seemed to be afraid of him, or look down upon him. He could trust these guys. Besides, he knew what they liked. Chingu liked steak, Galbi preferred beef rib, he could always bribe them to look the other way if needed to. But he doubted he would ever.

As he led them down the street, his mind flashed back to that old homeless man. Had it really been five days since he watched a man die? He couldn’t believe it, honestly. It felt simultaneously as if it had been weeks and yet as if it had been only yesterday. So much had changed, in so little time. Ah, but Dongsik wouldn’t let himself think about any of  _ those _ thoughts. No, right now, he was walking dogs. Sweet and unique dogs who he enjoyed being around. However, walking through the neighborhood at night, he couldn’t help but think about various things. Was Inwoo out right now, searching for new prey? Was he searching for the diary? He’d know he had it sooner or later, someone like him would find out quickly. Besides, he wasn’t the most secretive with it. He didn’t make a habit of showing it off, but people could glance it on him, surely he’d know soon enough. 

Would he be able to convince him to keep him alive by then? He’d probably be killed as a witness. But he’d have to think on how to actually remain useful to him, show some worth so he won’t be placed as another suicide and just be a fingerprint among the others. 

Unbeknownst to the man, another shuffled around, watching. Cautious eyes followed Yook Dongsik as he walked those dogs, and returned them to their joyful owners. Watched as he rejected a free meal and walked out the door, as he began his walk back home. Alone, in the cold September streets. 

It was a long while, but as Dongsik continued his walk, he looked up to see the moon before hearing a scuffle. A scuffle he didn’t cause, for once. His eyes narrowed, and turning around, he felt his blood turn to ice, as the man he believed to be dead emerge.

“Y-Yook Dongsik, right?” He stammered out, limping over to the fluffy haired male with a both panicked and hopeful expression. “The book, did you give it to the police? Is it safe?” He was silent, his mind blank as he stared at him. He felt petrified, as if none of this was real.

“Y-you- you’re dead.... How c-could you be-”

“I escaped, thanks to you! Please, Yook Dongsik, did you give it?” 

He was mortified. Kim Myeonggook escaped the clutches of Seo Inwoo, all because of him? That didn’t seem right- It took him a long moment to decide what he would do, what he should do. That was, until a particular thought entered his mind. Something to fix this. “No. I dropped it back at the site. I was so scared-” 

Myeonggook seemed to buy it, whining in frustration as he wormed around. “R-really? Damn it, damn it!”

“But I know where it is there. We can go get it.” The homeless man rose a brow before wincing, staring at him for a moment before nodding. 

“Together. Okay.” 

Times like this made him really want to have a car. It would have been so much easier to get to the construction site by driving to it, rather than making the walk over. But thankfully it wasn’t too hard. And as the pair revisited the scene of the crime, rather lewd memories flooding back to Dongsik, he forced himself to focus. He was here, they both were. Kim Myeonggook was here once again, and they were looking for something that never left his person. As the homeless man lowered his head, scouting around the pipes, Dongsik continued to direct him further, and while he was looking away, took one of the fallen pipes. 

His heart beat so rapidly against his chest, he wasn’t sure if he could do something like this. If he could actually harm another person. His mother’s voice entered his voice for a split second, and a guilty feeling sank to the bottom of his stomach. But then, it was as if he heard Inwoo for a moment. 

_ ‘There is no greater feeling. He is an ant, escaping his rightful fate.’  _

The male licked his lips, and after what felt like years of holding this pipe over his head, brought it down on the homeless man’s head. The first one didn’t knock him out. 

Thwack. Thwack. The sound of the hollow pipe coming down on a human head was sicker than he had expected. Nothing like the sounds in horror movies. 

He could smell blood again, like when he had seen Inwoo with him in this very building. Blood which caused him to silence a moan threatening to leave his throat. 

He was a sick man, he knew that, and hated himself for it. But even after Myeonggook was very thoroughly knocked unconscious, he couldn’t help himself and kept hitting him with the pipe. With every swing, he felt his anger, his resentment leave him. It was refreshing. Satisfied with his work, he tossed the pipe aside and smiled down at the much older man. 

His body was curling into itself, his head wound reopened with his gauze a fresh red color. It trickled down his pathetic brow, his facial features swelling and bruising with the beating he gave. He wasn’t a very strong person, but he made sure he put as much as he could into it. 

Dragging him to the top was the hardest part. Up stairs, all while making sure he remained unconscious, he dreadfully wished he had been as strong as Inwoo here. 

Inwoo, who ran three miles every morning, who kept his body in peak performance, could do this with no problem. He could just carry him up with ease! But Dongsik was less physically motivated. He had always preferred mental work to physical. Despite feeling like a year, and outrageously tired, he finally dragged him up to the top. To where he could see him starting to wake up. 

Dongsik wasn’t concerned, and pulling out the diary, he felt himself smirk at Myeonggook. “Found it. Had it on me the whole time, almost forgot.” The eyes of the homeless and bleeding man were like a pinned and wounded animal, one that had been outsmarted by a superior predator. 

“No- no way. You can’t-”

“You want to hear the next entry?” He smirked, and thought for a moment. “ _ Kim Myeonggook, having nothing to live for, no family to return to, jumped off the roof of what was to be Daesan’s newest offices.’  _ It isn’t as good at his, but it’s fitting.” His eyes turned dark as he approached, and as Myeonggook backed up, grit his teeth at the young male. 

“Bastard, you psychopathic bastard, I won’t let you kill m-” Before he could finish, Dongsik used the pipe he had previously used to beat him with and shoved him off the edge, watching him slip off. 

But there was no sound of a body on the pavement. 

So, he walked over to the edge, just like he had that fateful night. Except now, he wasn’t here to die. 

He was here to live. 

His eyes fell back down on the man, currently holding on for his life on the edge. Dongsik offered no support, no way for him to live past this. 

His eyes met Myeonggook’s, and as time proved faithful, he slipped. 

He fell for what seemed like years. As if it was slowed to permanently seal itself in his mind. But watching the man fall to his death wasn’t as traumatizing as he thought it’d be. It was… beautiful. Like a slow dance. A buildup, watching those fearful eyes as finally, he hit the cement. 

With a thud, a sick and shocking thud, he could almost hear his very life leave him, blood pooling as it surrounded his body. 

Yook Dongsik watched as the man died, for the last time. 

And he was smiling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, this one was so hard to write. I have a lot of ideas for further on, I just need to try and get to there. Sorry for the wait, and thank you all for the kind words and support! I never expect it, haha.


	5. Brevity of Indulgence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yook Dongsik has taken the plunge, his hands are stained forever.   
> Why not take a few steps further?
> 
> Inwoo takes notice of a strange savior.

His hands were shaking. He had done it. 

He’d taken that plunge, and now there was no going back. 

After watching the man for several minutes, dead on the sidewalk, Dongsik felt his knees tremor, and had to steady himself. 

He had taken a life. 

What had he done? 

Scuffling off the roof, he took the bloodied pipe and quickly tried to hide it, somewhere it wouldn’t be found until much later, when he could come back and get rid of all that blood. His fingerprints, too, he needed to clean them off- He really should’ve thought about everything before doing something so reckless. 

But it was done, he couldn’t bring him back, he couldn’t change this. Kim Myeonggook was dead, for certain this time. And Dongsik was glad to be rid of him. After having fled the site, he avoided the body and left through the other exit, where no one could have possibly seen him there. Right? No way people would be looking around here, no one knew about the attempted murder around this place, even if Myeonggook had escaped the last time! He would get away with it, of course he would. 

There was no possible way he could get caught here. And so he fled.

Dongsik had done it, he’d finally done it. That lingering beast in his chest was fed abundantly tonight, its despicable fangs drenched in the blood of an innocent man, and he couldn’t force himself to hate it. No, even when he walked all the way back to his apartment, jacket hiding the blood on his shirt, he couldn’t hold back his chuckles. His smile threatened to overtake his face. 

He really was a sick man. 

With the day growing longer, the fresh feeling of murder still coursed through his veins, electric in that lingering way, and he couldn’t take that smile off his face. People could assume he was just having a great day, and that wouldn’t be a lie. Today was a fantastic day. 

Sleep wasn’t easy. He shook softly, and he didn’t know why. He had been so happy earlier today, but when it came to sleep, he could not force himself to keep his eyes shut. He saw his face. Over. And over. That look of betrayal, of pure terror. It didn’t make sense, why did he keep thinking of it? He wanted to take it in and let it go, have it be a pleasant memory for him. He wasn’t sure what even made him keep seeing it. How wide his eyes were, how long he seemed to fall, until that sickening thud. How crimson his blood had been, how its scent lingered in the air for a moment after he had fallen. Maybe killing him wasn’t such a good idea, what if he got caught? Perhaps he’d not been meticulous enough. What if they found traces of him? He had been too sudden, his Inwoo was far more calculated than he had been. Planning, careful and particular planning. He should’ve taken more care, more worries, he shouldn’t have been so reckless-

He finally passed out, but his worries still remained. Until slowly, throughout the morning, they began to subside. There was not a single news station reporting on the death of Kim Myeonggook. He went unnoticed. No one cared if a homeless man killed himself, he was nothing. And that meant that even the police would sweep him under the rug. 

All day was spent pouring over the internet, every piece of information he could learn on his prize. Seo Inwoo. Surprisingly aloof for a chaebol heir, not even any gossip about romantic flings, scandals. His Inwoo was squeaky clean, but for there to be any dents would surprise Dongsik. 

After all, he knew the true Director Seo. 

The man who thirsts for blood, for the begging of his victims. For the rush of a perfect crime. Who kept himself in peak condition to ensure he always got away with it. He was above others, and killed those who were too weak to defend themselves. Too weak to benefit anyone. 

Homeless, pitiful souls, reckless children who leeched off others. He saw the way he hunted, and couldn’t help but admire it. But was Dongsik himself in any position to do the same? 

He shook these thoughts away and continued to scroll through page after page. 

None for Inwoo, all of these were focused on Jihoon. 

Seo Jihoon.

The bastard who clearly wanted him gone, after he had gone to every superior he could. Who wanted all this bad press to go away. 

The bastard who stood in the rightful heir’s way, who damaged the company. Who dared to share the same surname as the superior Inwoo. 

A selfish brother who’s head seemed to be full of udon noodles, who ran his section of the company into the ground. 

He didn’t even deserve the breath he took. 

Dongsik felt that familiar sensation in his gut, the warm hatred. He had never acted on these feelings before, always shoving them down. His mother had wanted her son to be like her. His father wanted a tougher son, for him to act on these damned hateful urges. To show that he wasn’t weak, that he was truly a man. But he wasn’t strong, not like them.    
Not like Inwoo. 

But as his eyes burned into the images of Jihoon, he paused and considered. 

He wasn’t strong like them. But he was smart. 

He just had to outthink Jihoon. 

And knowing the moron, that wouldn’t be very hard. 

As he opened the forum page, and cracked his knuckles, he felt his confidence exude from his fingertips. If he wanted to impress Inwoo, he’d have to get his hands dirty, have to make himself known. 

  
  


The director sat at the bar, his whiskey in hand, and allowed his thoughts to roam. He had been frantic with his search for Kim Myeonggook, and his precious red book. He had been careful, so very careful with each and every crevice he examined. From what was once his home to the bathrooms he loitered, there was no sight of the homeless man. Yet… From what Mr. Kim had told him, Kim Myeonggook was found dead earlier this morning. Having jumped off the building where he had nearly been murdered days prior. That loose end was finally tied up, and he was glad to be rid of him, but the troubling absence of his diary was still weighing on his thoughts. Had there been another to pick it up? Perhaps Myeonggook hid it somewhere he thought he would never find it. Perhaps in that junk heap he once called a house? 

That disgusting worm had crawled out of the dirt and got in his way, had evaded him and spat on him during. The filth was finally dead, but who had killed him? 

“Your problem, has it not been resolved?” Spoke Jo Yujin, who Inwoo had not seen come in. How long had she been here? It was very beneficial that he didn’t voice his thoughts, for it made it perhaps easier to hide these. His somewhat confused expression caught her eye and she gave a soft nod. “Is it a girl?”

“Yes, a girl.” His falsehood wasn’t evident. But to all he knew, this strange presence could have been a girl. But a mere girl, he doubted would cause this-

“Who is she? To be on the Director’s mind like this..?” Inwoo let out a soft chuckle, and took a drink. “You don’t need to know. Besides, we broke up.” He stated, looking down into the glass with a growing smirk. “Decisively, cleanly.” From the pictures Museok had sent of the corpse, it had been a fall. He could even see the fear in his dead eyes, how the blood had turned sour as if he hadn’t been discovered until several hours. It was admirable, this person. “Perhaps we should celebrate.”

“Celebrate, sir? We still have the Yook Dongsik problem.” Yujin remarked almost bitterly, her cold tone reflecting some hint of emotion. She was easy to see through, but she was useful. 

Inwoo gave a shrug. “Post something on the forum about it, anonymously. ‘How unfair it is, a disadvantaged and abused worker is being framed for the intentional wrongdoing in the Yuseong Biomedi case. I will soon reveal the guilty ones.’ Something along those lines.” He continued, finishing off his drink before placing it down. She gave a nod, and pulled out her phone to make the calls. She paused and stared, but he took no notice. Until she spoke. 

“Sir, it’s already out.” 

His brow rose, and he moved his hand to take the phone, the device being placed carefully in his hand as he scrolled along. 

_ Facts on Yuseong Biomedi - Anonymous _

_ I’m exposing the corruption of executives involved a while ago with Yuseong. The purposeful mishandling of the case… _

His once shadow of a smirk began to grow as Yujin voiced her own surprise, “Seems someone else had the same idea as you. Who could have written it?” His eyes devoured every paragraph of the forum entry, and he felt his own intrigue grow. 

“Was it Yook Dongsik, who had written this?”

There was no one else it could be.

But from what he had known, that man was nothing but a worker drone, a pushover. Someone people didn’t care for or about. He hadn’t even been memorable in the few times they had met, and yet here he was, playing his cards in a way he hadn’t expected of him. His intrigue of the male grew, and his smile grew further, continuing to take in the expose. 

“He is an interesting man, Yook Dongsik.”

Interesting indeed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so I accidently took a bit of a hiatus. I kinda slipped out of a drama mood, still kinda am out of it, but I keep seeing all your guys' kind words and interaction and I hate leaving people hanging, y'know?  
> So sorry it's rather short, but I'll try to get back into it. If I slip back into a pause, I am really sorry about it, and I will keep tryna come back as often as I can!  
> Thank you guys for reading, and stay safe out there!


End file.
